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Posted by who cares on February 28, 19104 at 16:10:58:
In Reply to: Re: Hume on Suicide posted by ikram on June 10, 19103 at 01:51:23:
well i think this is all pretty sick. there are no ways to kill yourself. i had a good friend who once killed himself using monoxcide poisening in his car, but i don't speak to him anymore and therefore don't really know how it felt in the end. right now, i'm considering suicide. but inside of looking for a way to commit suicide, i'm actually looking for a friend, or perhaps someone i've never met before, to tell me that it's all going to be okay, somehow. someone who can tell me that no matter what i'm feeling, that i have my son, who is five, to think of, and no matter how i feel right now, and no matter where I land up - ever, to stay alive with him and for him is more important than anything else in the world. we all have ways to kill ourselves, we can hang ourselves, we can take too much poisen, shit - we can overdose on heroine - how bad can that be - but instead of listening to your sorry stories, i need to listen to someone who can tell me that anything - even living in the streets as a beggar, is betting than dying. so if there is anyone out there, who can miracously tell me that there are better options out there - i want to hear from you. all the people i've spoken to have no clue how bad things really are - i wish now for an angel who can tell that no matter what, no matter how hard things are going to be, there are other ways, someone out there that really cares, or someone out there that can take some of strain away, someone out there. Just someone out there. I've heard to that if you commit suicide you have to come back to life again and live through all those hardships again before you ever reach heaven - or whatever you may call the land of peace and tranquility. I want to go to that place without hurting anybody. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I sometimes wonder how my boy will be, when I'm gone. I know that my tears, and frustration and fear, and depression, are no good for him. I know that if I died he would live with my folks who don't experience my pain - but I don't know if that's really going to be as good because him and I love eachother so much.