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: : hi everyone, : : I just finished reading the Crack-up and I found many of the parts very confusing... can anyone clarify it for me please? : : thank you : : Valerie : Hi Valerie. I too found much of it confusing, but found a direct correlation to what he was saying to my life at hand. This story was handed to me by a close personal friend who used to run as a Paramedic. I too - also ran as a medic for five years, and devoted close to 100 hours a week in rescue/ems operations. : This article directly reflects the disintigration I have seen in my life over the last five years. I have gone from being an extrovert to an introvert. My marriage crumbled, my children became unhealthy and spiritually withdrawn. My friends saw me as a cold-hearted, uninterested person that withdrew himself from everything and everyone; and they were correct. : The thing was: I never was this way. In my years, I was everywhere and into everything. I was a people-person. The damage that took place on me was the constant outpouring of efforts and emotion to help others and in turn, I suffered what the EMS community calls "burn-out." The idea of mortgaging your physical and spirtual reserves in order to continue the operations at hand is the perfect way of putting it. There is a physical number of these reserves - and as they get used up, this number goes down and eventually is depleted. : I'm divorced now, and am slowly recovering. I have just recently began going back to church to regain my spiritual strength. I have resigned from EMS completely and have no interest in ever going back. : I don't know if this helps you understand his story... I just thought I would p my experience along to see if it helps you relate. : R/ : Mike Newkirk : King George, VA

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